Healing For the Fractured Soul – Session 8

Hurting People Hurt People- Breaking the Cycle of Abuse

Join us Wednesday, July 2nd, 2024
8:15 PM ET
LIVE on the platforms below!

We have all heard the saying: “hurting people hurt people.”  There is a pain that is greater than being abused yourself; it’s realizing you were the cause of pain in someone else. If you have ever felt deep remorse for hurting someone, congratulations you are one step closer to freedom. The road to healing can be up and down. The goal of inner healing is to be freed from any emotional or spiritual markers caused by an abusive person, including triggers that make us act in any way that does not align with who we truly are in Christ. Let’s change the saying: “Hurt people can be healed bringing healing and health to others.

Books being used in the series:

• Healing the Wounded Heart: The Heartache of Sexual Abuse and the Hope of Transformation
• Healing the Wounded Heart Workbook: The Heartache of Sexual Abuse and the Hope of Transformation
• Help For the Fractured Soul

As mentioned in Show: TRIGGERLESS: ALLOW THE HEART OF THE KING TO HELP YOU MASTER YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE WITH THE LIGHT OF TRUTH

Dissociative Identity Disorder Mind Test CLICK HERE

Leah’s notes from tonight’s session below👇️

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I know three siblings who made a pact when they were Teenagers, they pledged not to become like their dad who had been abusive and an alcoholic. They also pledged to not forget. They talked about the things that he had done and said to them. And said we are not going to act like that when we get older. Last week. We covered the  Trifecta of evil Personality types. The narcissist The macavellion And the sadist.These kinds of people don’t just have a bad day and snap, Their very persona is so stuck on themselves that they literally can’t feel the feelings of other people. The macavelion is more of a Darwinist , who sees the world as a dog eat dog world with the survival of the Fittest , and so it’s perfectly moral and right to take advantage of lie and cheat and steal from others to get ahead. The satist actually finds pleasure in seeing other people hurt.  

We have all seen families and may be part of a family where the parents yelled at cursed at and belittled the children who then grew up to yell at, curse at and belittle their children. We have talked a lot about certain behaviors of others that that truly hurt us and caused this to act in certain ways. Actions that we feel are not truly us. And are not representative of who we want to be. Tonight I want us to identify how. We have heard others and to take ownership of that. There are things beyond our control. We may never get an apology from the person or people who hurt us.

But there is something deeply empowering about identifying ways in which we act like those who we don’t want to be like. It can be very difficult and scary. First off let me be clear – if you have a person in your life. That is part of the trifecta of evil. Do not go and apologize to them. They will twist and turn it around to hurt. Hopefully you aren’t living with or near someone who has those personality traits and is a full blown sadist. 

But let’s say you’re with somebody who just doesn’t know how to love or was abused themselves. Maybe they don’t know how to accept, give an apology or to take responsibility. Sometimes apologies and taking responsibility can feel very one sided. At the end of the day you are responsible for yourself. This is where it’s important to know God and seek him for justice and vindication. You mean I have to make things right even if somebody else doesn’t?

Yes.

What if they turn around and use it against me? They may, but if you made a mistake, it’s much more empowering to own up to your own faults and mistakes.
There are 3 kinds of apologies:
1. Manipulation, that person doesn’t really feel bad for what they did they feel badly they got caught. 
2. You are overly apologetic, you didn’t really do anything wrong but you are afraid of another person
3. If you are truly repentant, you feel remorse, do your best to make it right and let it go

Taking responsibility is not just about what you got wrong but also about what you should have done but didn’t. Why can’t abused people take responsibility or make excuses for their behavior?
Excuses can be masked as explanations and deflections

People deflect because they don’t want to feel bad about themselves or look bad in front of others. They don’t want people to think they’ve made a mistake or are at fault in any way. They want to be liked and looked up to. They don’t want to admit—even to themselves—that they may have done something wrong

Let’s pause here, can you identify a situation where you deflected responsibility because you were afraid? A narcissist will deflect blame onto their victim and make it so excrusiaitingly painful to ever take real responsibility because their brains have been falsely wired to take on the responsibilities of the abuser. It’s like a dog who cringes when any hand is raised because they were beaten.

The first step is to get somewhere safe and realize that healthy people can take the responsibility of making mistakes. This is not a session for you to share with someone you want to start taking personal responsibility. This is about what we each can control in our healing process with the Holy Spirit.

Story Leah read about the young boy: CLICK HERE